by Structured Settlement Watchdog
Some structured settlement firms proudly advertise a willingness to take the smallest of cases. But Chronovo's attempt to break new ground, wiggling and jiggling in an effort to win the micro structured settlement broker "limbo contest" has left me giggling.
A "Brown Bag* Settlement Planning" Dilemma
Granted that school lunches enable kids to understand certain basic economic concepts such as barter. You have a bag of Fritos and your classmate has Ding Dongs. You want sweet and it so happens your classmate prefers savory today. There is a "meeting of the minds" and you agree to an exchange.
But THIS is something completely different.
"Here's your lunch money for the second grade. You can decide whether to take it all at once or structure it" reads the caption as Daddy holds a stack of bills in front of his 7 year old offspring portrayed in one of Pat Byrnes' so-called "Smartoons".
Doing the Limbo Rock of Second Grade Finance
- According to a 2011 report by the Education Commission of the States the minimum number of days of instruction in a majority of states is 180 days.
- School lunch costs for students vary by state and district, but on average, a single meal costs students $2.48 at the elementary-school level and $2.74 at the high-school level. What does school lunch cost in your state?
- Since the Chronovo ad makes the point of portraying a second grader in its Smartoon, we shall use the cost of $2.48 for lunch times 180 days which equals $446.40
- There isn't a structured settlement settlement annuity issuer that will issue a policy with such a micro premium, so what's the point?
- Structuring payments today to pay out daily or weekly over 6 months makes no economic sense. The premium would exceed the payout. That certainly doesn't make sense for Daddy does it?
- Even if there was such a company, there would the levy of a small case policy fee
- Isn't the point of a Smartoon to educate people about making smart financial decisions?
- Finally, in the overused "time of Covid-19", there may not be any need for lunch money if the second grader is engaged in remote learning. So c'mon everybody, let's all just do the Limbo Rock, with Mickey!
*a reference to the brown paper bag for school lunches sported by those without a lunch box