by Structured Settlement Watchdog
I sure do appreciate J.G. Wentworth placing a blooper in each of its recent commercials for stickiness, just so I can discover "what is not right about this picture?". So here goes.
One of its latest series of J.G. Wentworth commercials features a guy laid up in a hospital bed with bandages looking like "The Mummy" complete with a hanging leg, who with each "selfless" display of familial "pig pile on Dad" money sapping "good news", dreams of a different J.G. Wentworth commercial.
Why not dream of something more interesting?
If one is to believe this tale of "dire straights" and "money for nothing", one could deduce that "The Mummy" already has structured settlement and it must be a really big one to be able to afford:
- Son's Harvard tuition which as of February 2011 was $52,000+, with the most recent increase 3.8%
- Daughter's wedding which will cost $50,000. I mean the bro' is going to Harvard. It's only fair. I "understand" that J.G. will throw in the Viking chorus, featuring the misplaced swarthy Viking doing a solo parody of Weird Al Yankovic's Another One Rides The Bus, which is itself a parody of Queen's "Another One Bites the Dust", but not be confused with Sir Mix Alot's "I Like Big Butts".
- Wifey, who is more "hubba hubba" about the contractor and a new in-law suite than consoling her poor lame "Mummy" hubby.
On the different tack, why would an insurer settle a case without knowing full extent of The Mummy's injuries and how his wounds heal and the affect on his prospects for work and livelihood?
A structured settlement comes at the conclusion of a lawsuit. If his injuries were that serious did he get sufficient cash up front? His kids and wife seem well fed, well dressed and happy. Is his "mummification" the result of a new accident and new injuries? If so, why not wait for a new settlement instead of selling an existing structured settlement at a discount. Where the heck is The Mummy's settlement planner?
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